后期制作： 王可欣（视频剪辑、字幕、片头、片尾） 董成豪（转场）
角色：荆轲（杨睿），太子丹（董成豪），阿三（易诗蓓），李莫愁+旁白（索丙妍），荆轲妻子（王可欣）
旁白（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
很久以前，有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国度里，有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展现疯狂的历史。荆轲是最著名的剑客，被派去杀死秦王“嬴政”。但最后他失败了。你想知道那个时候发生了什么？好的，下一场演出会告诉你事实。
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world?
画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan!
太子丹（高兴状) ：Thank you mirror! （面对观众）
I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
我是太子丹，魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是一个嫉妒的人，如果镜子告诉他真相，我觉得他会杀了我。我很害怕。那我能做什么？我的随从在哪里？
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
我告诉你多少次了，你应该叫我“我最美丽，优美，英俊，迷人，可爱，聪明，最亲爱的太子丹” ！
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ （作杀状）
好的，亲爱的。我有一个主意，我们可以找一个人去刺杀嬴政。
太子丹：Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
哦~~本世纪最有价值的东西 是什么？人才！好主意！那么派谁去？
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
在层层筛选后，我有两个人员。一个是李莫愁，另一个是荆轲。明天他们将争夺世界第一杀手。
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Of course, my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan.
当然，我最美丽，优美，英俊，迷人，可爱，聪明，最亲爱的太子丹。
荆轲:OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁Are you challenging me?
(耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊…….)
李莫愁：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don‘t need any reason to win a person. Do we?
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get. " I got it, Momma is right.
妈妈总是说：“人生就像一盒巧克力，莫愁，你永远不知道你会得到什么。”我明白了，妈妈是对的。
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
（荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，‘展示给观众’上面写着： ）
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三：(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
看！她是世界上最美丽的女孩。如果你说O.K.，她是你的。
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
我不得不说她是一个非常性感和美丽的女孩，但TCM是我唯一的爱！
荆柯：Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
嘿，朋友！你看起来很聪明，但你为什么不知道中医？他们中的任何一个都可以给你答案。
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
旁白：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
我必须向你展示王牌。女士们，先生们，这是立顿减肥茶。这是UC的一个全新的产品。
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.
减肥茶！我梦想了数千次。我的妻子总是威胁要离开我，来让我减肥。
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?
你要？说出来，如果你想！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你的眼睛里充满了诚意，但我很高兴，你还是要说出来。拿去！你真的喜欢吗？真的？
荆柯(诚恳状) ：Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!
我爱你！你对我的意义比在这个世界上的任何东西都重要！
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you.
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise
亲爱的！你必须保有这个荣耀...答应我你会活下去... ...你永远不会放弃...不管发生了什么事情...不管多么无望...现在就答应我，永远不要放弃诺言
妻子:I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go.
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
非常感谢。一旦我获得了100万美元的人身保险，我将把它的一半，50万美元转移到您的帐户。
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
